Really Bad Stuff

The last couple of weeks have been really, really bad. It all began on Wednesday 9th in the evening when I got a phone call from Wellington Hospital saying that my dad had had a fall the day before and that he wanted to talk to me. But unfortunately when they put the phone through to his room he had gone to sleep. When they rang back half an hour later I thought he had woken up again but they were ringing to tell me the exact opposite, the kind of news that you never, ever want to hear. My dad had passed away in his sleep. He had had Non Hodgkins Lymphoma for quite some time but only started getting sick in the last six months. The last time I saw him he was looking a lot stronger and the diagnosis from his doctor was that the treatment was working. Unfortunately he apparently went downhill quite quickly in the last couple of weeks. Although if you had asked him he would have said he was doing ok. That’s the kind of person he was. And over the last two weeks I’ve discovered I’m a lot like him because that’s exactly what I would have done as well.

Naturally I was devastated. Peter and I flew down to Wellington first thing the next morning to try and make sense of it and to make the arrangements. Peter has been absolutely wonderful throughout. I can’t thank him enough. He’s been there helping me along every step of the way. Having lost my mum nearly 15 years ago and not having any brothers or sisters, it fell on me to organise everything. It was such a huge responsibility and not having ever done anything like this before I didn’t really know what to do. But everyone we met along the way was so helpful and kind and steered us in the right direction. I have now learnt the importance not just of having a will but of doing as much planning for your own funeral as you can, so that your loved ones don’t have to try and guess your wishes.

The funeral service was held on Tuesday 15th. So many people turned up for it – old friends, new friends, Mum’s siblings and nieces, and my friends and colleagues. I made a speech about my Dad’s life, something I was terrified of doing but which I feel very pleased about now. I’m afraid I probably spoke for a long time but I wanted to make sure I covered everything because I wanted everyone to know Dad the way I did.
Even still there were lots of things I left out – like the fact that Peter and I were planning on coming down to visit him at Christmas but that we knew better than to visit him on Christmas Day because he wouldn’t be home but would be out riding the buses and trains since they are free on Christmas Day. Or how he always got out and attended events in Wellington – he would have loved seeing the scuttling of the HMNZS Wellington off the coast of Island Bay two days before, and how this weekend was to be an Open Day at Government House which he always went along to. It’s the little things like that that I will miss.

So many other people also got up and said kind words about my dad. I’m pleased to know that he had a lot of friends. After the service I got to meet a lot of his friends at the Bowling Club where he was a member. Although it was a sad occasion I’m glad that I can look back on that day and feel positive – pleased that the service went well, glad to meet all my dad’s friends, and just knowing that Dad would have approved of everything.

I have so many people I need to thank for their help during this difficult time: First the lady at the hospital mortuary who looked after us when we arrived in town bewildered, and explained what we needed to do. Sheryl and the team at Harbour City Funeral Home in Kilbirnie for their help and kindness. Chris the vicar at St Hilda’s Anglican Church in Island Bay for conducting the service and his helping choosing hymns and a reading. Barbara and Glen at Island Bay Bowling Club for arranging the function afterwards. My godmother Lorraine for her support and for doing the reading. To everyone who got up and spoke at the service for their kind words and friendship. And to everyone who has sent messages of sympathy and support. It is all appreciated.

To top off the bad stuff, just before all this happened I got a phone call from my midwife saying my latest routine test results had come back with a high blood sugar reading and that I needed to go back for more tests. I have had a lot of problems with feeling faint, at first only occasionally but getting to be quite regular in the week or two before her call. So I was quite worried that the test was going to show diabetes or something. Luckily the second test results put my blood sugar back in an acceptable range but just to be sure I have given up eating sugar and haven’t felt faint since. Looks like Christmas this year is going to be a pretty sad time – no wine or champagne, no cold ham or cold chicken, no cake or pavlova, and no chocolate.

Looking forward I’m not sure what life holds in store for us now. Peter and I had been planning on moving back to Wellington and buying Dad’s house off him so that he could go live somewhere smaller. We probably will still move into the house but is still dependant on Peter finding a job in Wellington before we can move. For now we’re just taking it one day at a time.

October

The month of October has been a very busy one for me, especially at work. I've been involved in a project to bring in a new Incident Management System and this went live at the beginning of October. It has kept me very busy testing and training and integrating the new system. I've been to just about all of our North Island sites over the last month to train users. It's always great to get out of the office and to go where the real work is done, but there's always so much work to do when I get back. Although I'm glad to say things are finally starting to settle down now. I only have four weeks left at work and my replacement has been selected which is a great relief.

As well as all the travelling with work, Peter and I managed to fit in a weekend in Sydney as well at the beginning of October. Probably the last overseas trip we're going to have for a while. Not that it was a holiday or anything - we attended the final Australasian X-ball paintball tournament for the year. The less said about that the better I reckon. The timing was really bad what with everything going on at work, and it would have been better to finish off the paintball year with a win, but it was still nice to get away and go somewhere new (it wasn't actually in Sydney but near Gosford an hours drive north of the city centre).

Labour Weekend was the first time in probably five years that we haven't gone to Rotorua for a paintball tournament, as the regular tournament was cancelled this year. It was a shame as (from a spectator's perspective) it's been the best tournament event in the country. So instead we stayed home and enjoyed a long weekend relaxing and doing work around the house. Went to the Armageddon pulp culture expo at the Aotea Centre. Once known as a geeky sci-fi convention it seems to have gone really mainstream and was full of computer/console gaming as well as the more traditional gaming. I got to meet Lex and Big-Tom from Survivor Africa and Survivor All-Stars and learn a bit about what you *don't* see on tv. And Peter got to meet Dr Beverly Crusher from Star Trek (sorry can't remember her real name now or which show, Next Gen maybe?). And as an example of how mainstream it has become you could also meet the people behind current NZ shows Bro Town and Outrageous Fortune.

Nooboo continues to grow and grow. We have reached the 30 week mark so 3/4 of the way there now. Attached is a pic at 28 weeks. All is going well and things are happening as they should. We finished our ante natal class this week. It has been a very informative course and has allayed a few fears. The best bit in my opinion was the tour of North Shore Hospital maternity unit. It was good to see where it is and what it looks like and just what facilities are available.

We still want to be in Wellington by the end of the year and Peter has another job interview this week. However even if he gets the job it will be very close to Christmas by the time we move. And if he doesn't get it then it's not looking very likely that we will move this year at all. We are both happy to just go with the flow and see how things work out. Whatever happens I'm sure it will be for the best.