Ballet

(Written on 1st July, published in December)

Kathleen was involved in a ballet show last weekend. She did one show on the Saturday afternoon, one on Saturday evening, and one on Sunday afternoon. Plus three rehearsals during the prior week.

I started taking Kathleen to ballet about nine months ago. She enjoyed dancing around the house so much I thought she would enjoy it. Plus one of her daycare friends goes too. Term 4 last year we went to the 3.30 Tuesday class. I would pick Kathleen and Victoria up from daycare at 3, but inevitiably we wouldn't leave there till 3.20 and would be rushing to get to ballet on time. This year she was in the 4pm class. Which meant that I would pick them up and then even if we left at 3.20 we'd still have to hang around for nearly half an hour before ballet started. It wasn't enough time to go home but it was too long to sit around and wait. So in term 2 I changed their daycare day to Thursday so that we would be home all afternoon Tuesday and could leave at quarter to four. It worked most times although there was at least one time when I forgot about it altogether!

I think Kathleen enjoyed ballet but I'm not totally sure. She would sometimes complain she didn't want to go, but then she complains about going to daycare too yet when I pick her up she says she'd had a great day and loves it there. At the beginning of this term the girls learnt the dance they were going to do at the show. About halfway through the term they started doing nothing but rehearsing this particular dance. At one point I commented to Kathleen that I was finding it quite boring now just doing the one dance, and how did she feel. She confessed she didn't like it either. Did I put the words in her mouth or did she really not like it? Well, ever since then she has been really complaining she doesn't like ballet, doesn't like doing the dance because she gets tired, and doesn't want to do the show.

I felt really bad and considered letting her stop. But I said to her that she just had to keep going till the end of term, do the show and then if she still didn't want to do it then we wouldn't go back next term. I felt torn - I didn't want to push her to do something she didn't want to do, but I didn't want her to think she could just give up everytime something hard came along.

Last week we had rehearsals on Monday, Wednesday and Friday, at the theatre where the show was going to be, rather than at the ballet studio. Kathleen was very nervous / anxious / upset. She and the other six girls from her class had to sit together on the chairs, and the mums had to stand at the back of the hall. Kathleen didn't make a fuss, but when I checked on her she had tears running down her face saying she wanted to be with me. But I had to stay at the back and keep Victoria out of trouble. Soon it was time for them to do their dance and then we went home. That night she had nighmares. The second rehearsal went better, and the next one even better, as she got used to what would happen. She still kept saying she didn't want to do the show but I said she should.

Saturday afternoon I took Kathleen along to the theatre. I bought myself a ticket to watch the show and showed her exactly where I would be sitting. Then I took her backstage to get changed and ready. When the show began I ran around to my seat and was so proud watching her dance. I had tears pouring down my cheeks I was so proud of her. All the girls looked so good. Ok so they weren't in time and kept looking at the teachers to show them what to do. But the point was they were all there and looked so cute. They were mostly four or five year olds, with one three year old and one two year old. Afterwards I helped Kathleen get changed and then the two of us went back to the audience and watched the rest of the show.

By the Saturday evening and Sunday shows Kathleen was loving it. Her old fears had gone and she was her usual excited self. I'm very proud of her for sticking with it, even though she didn't want to do it. I'm glad she did it and found it was enjoyable after all. I hope she remembers this lesson in the future when she's up against something new or scary.

She still insists she doesn't want to go back to ballet next term, and I'm not going to make her. I think I'll enjoy not having to rush out each week as well.

-Megz